Birthaversary Reflections

WARNING- This is a bit of a soppy self indulgent post. Today is my baby’s first birthday. It’s my party, I can sniff if I want to 😉 
You can read about Lachie’s birth here.

This time last year, I was doing my best to sleep with excited anticipation knowing full well that I’d wake up some time during the night in active labour. I didn’t know how beautifully gentle it would turn out to be. I expected it to be fast and furious like my third birth. I had the intention right from the beginning of this pregnancy that this was to be a healing experience for me and the very gentlest welcome possible for my baby. It was. It was perfect.  I really want women to know that drug free, intervention free, gentle births can happen in hospital as well as at home. They do and can happen, but that’s a whole other blog post for another day.

I tweeted throughout this birth. I had read a lot differing opinions about twitter births in the month leading up to Lachie’s birth day. Most of them were negative. The biggest concerns were that it should be a private experience and that both mum and dad should be focusing on the labour. As usual, I did away with other peoples shoulds and found that it was still a very private and intimate experience for my husband and I. We were alone for most of the labour and hubs was very definitely there for me when I needed him. Twitter was a nice distraction at times.

My experience of twitter birthing was wonderful. I would do it again in a heartbeat if I was to ever have another baby ( I won’t, but if I did…) I felt so much support, I could feel so many people from all over the world holding me in their thoughts. There’s power in that. Those tweets from people offering kind words, positive thoughts, gentle birthing vibes and even cheering me on were truly uplifting. Plus… it gave my husband something to do while he was feeling like there was nothing he could do.  I’ve loved having my husband with me while birthing each time and this time, it was so relaxed that we had some fun together. Lightened the situation a little. I think that laughter during childbirth is just as good a medicine as it is at other times in life. Not during contractions though. Husbands need to shut up during contractions.

I wish I could bottle the feelings I had following the birth of this little guy. That feeling of absolute bliss. That sense of achievement and super hero like empowerment I had. I remember looking in the mirror after birthing and thinking that I looked beautiful, I think I even told myself I looked beautiful. I’ve never, ever thought that about myself before. Ever. Clearly, I was completely off my face on oxytocin and happy birthing and bonding hormones.

I don’t know where the time’s gone. I’ve said that before and I know it’s such a cliche, but this year… seriously, that can’t have been once around the sun. I’m sure I’ve missed half a year somewhere.

This itty baby I had a year ago is now an amazing individual who toddles around the house, delightfully enjoying the company of whoever he can find. He’s so affectionate. He presses his face to my lips when he wants a kiss and has just learnt how to give baby kisses himself.  He hunts me down in the night like a little heat seeking missle and tucks himself under my arm to sleep. He’s so full of joy and determination and love. So much love. I really am blessed beyond belief to have this blossoming bonus baby.