I’ve had The Cruel Sea’s ‘The Honeymoon Is Over’ in my head all day. Really, it’s only the last two lines of the chorus that’s relevant to this post, ’cause it’s still pretty fun but the music and the line ‘The honeymoon is over baby, it’s never gonna be that way again’ has been playing in my brain non stop. My brain’s been substituting honeymoon for babymoon. This song is one of the great anthems of my life in Sydney in the mid ’90’s. It has some really funky blues guitar. Take a listen when you finish reading and leaving me a nice comment (pretty please?), you’ll find it at the end of the post ;-).
Anyway, I digress. This post is not about my love of ’90’s aus rock but about the fact that I can no longer call my baby a newborn and the precious 6 weeks I’ve had since he was born.
Today is Lachlan’s 6 week birthaversary. It has gone soo fast and sorry to be predictable but I have to say that it feels like little Lachie has always been part of the family. That newborn time really is so, so special. Hard. Really hard. But so amazingly special.
A babymoon in the sense that I use the term is the period of time after birth that the parents take to focus on bonding and recuperation. For me and my family, it’s been a time where I can focus on establishing a good milk supply, my husband has done what he can to support that and we’ve both helped baby adjust to life out of the belly with lots of cuddles, kisses, snoozy holding and baby wearing. A time where my older kids have had two parents around to provide the support they need while they get used to life with their new little brother. A time where our nuclear family is the primary focus in our lives. No work and plenty of time spent in pj’s with a messy house. Special time. Time I’ve cherished, even when it’s hard.
For me, the end of my babymoon was not a scheduled thing, it has a been a creeping busyness as life slowly finds a new point of balance. With school, music lessons, martial arts classes and play group starting for the year, I haven’t had much choice but to get dressed and leave the house in the last two weeks. The week before that we had to spend in hospital where Lachlan spent every moment possible in my arms. The 3 weeks between Lachlan’s birth and the hospital admission were pretty much spent at home on the couch breastfeeding or snoozin’. The big kids went out on some outings with friends and the two eldest went to hang out with their grandparents for 6 days so that they didn’t feel like their entire school holiday was about baby.
I can’t stress enough how lucky I feel to have my husband at home with us full time since the birth. He’s been able to take 2 months off work while we welcome Lachlan to the family. Just having another person here with me as I take time out of the world has been invaluable to my mental state as I come down from the happy hormones and struggle with breastfeeding (yep, even with my 4th baby, it was/ is a struggle to get him feeding well).
I can imagine that spending weeks on end at home with baby, toddler and big kids could have me feeling isolated and could get me feeling pretty down if the hubs wasn’t around. I can see how this might make me wish away these early days where everything is hard work, hormones are bouncing around, boobs are sore, baby won’t latch, baby gets sick and I’m dealing with all this and 3 other kids mostly alone and on interrupted sleep. That support from a significant other is so important. I know I’m one lucky girl to have my man and I know that in part, my cheery outlook on life with 4 kids is due to the support he has been able to give <3.
Now baby is 6 weeks old. He’s classed as an infant not a newborn. The kids are back at school. Hubs is going back to work soon. The babymoon is all but over 🙁
I’m going to go to bed now and snuggle my not so newborn baby boy. I’m going to try to find a way to file that feeling away so that I can still get to it when he doesn’t tuck under my arm anymore and his little head doesn’t feel all soft like a mango and fuzzy like a peach. I’m going to get up in the morning and leave behind the idea that I want him to stay a brand new baby forever and enjoy his new found smiling and cute baby pre-laugh noises.
As always, I not only welcome your comments, I’ll beg you for them. Any Cruel Sea fans out there? Anyone have babymooning experience they want to share? Anyone just want to comment on how cute my baby pic is? I think I have cute baby pics but I’ve got mummy goggles, I wouldn’t know if he’s ugly as a hat full…
Oh and don’t forget some Cruel Sea nostalgia