Pregnancy
Understanding Your Personal Style and Strengths During Pregnancy- Part 3
NaturalTransition.com is thrilled to publish a series of articles written for
pregnant women by Dr. Caron Goode to help them determine an easy way to go through their
pregnancy based upon their core temperament or what Dr. Goode calls their personal
style.
Finding and Working With Your Personal Styles For a Mindful Pregnancy
by Dr. Caron Goode
www.acpi.biz
When you use techniques that make you feel calmer and happier, or can think in the optimal fashion, you are using your personal style approach. You are considering your wholeness in physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health because you know your responsibility is to your child as well as yourself. Think of yourself as a whole woman, using the science of personal styles for planning a healthful pregnancy. Remember as you find your personal style in the next set of descriptions that you may have one or two different styles or be a combination of several.
The Cognitive Style
Cognitive Cathy is a deep thinker and loves learning. If she could be a perpetual student, she’d be happy because she loves researching new things. Cathy likes to read information; she considers all options before making important decisions. Part of thinking through all options before acting is asking all the right questions. Cognitive Cathy is an organized person who values one-on-one time with her partner and friends. She enjoys long lunches, discussions about the meaning of existence and romantic dinners. She prefers alone time with friends rather than parties and crowds. Cognitive Cathy likes to do things right, even if it means attending to the detail two or three times until she is happy with the project.
If you are Cognitive Cathy, your greatest challenge during pregnancy is not to worry. You meet this by knowing how to control your thoughts and educating yourself when you need answers. Another tip is to for you let go of that perfectionist streak and enjoy your pregnancy while a few tasks go undone.
Preparing for Pregnancy and Birth
You value information and work well with ideas and abstracts. Use this trait to bring order to your world and stay grounded.
- Write out all of the questions you can think of about birth and pregnancy
- Do your homework now and find your answers. This builds your confidence
- Remember you like mental stimulation. Pick out books to read in your down time so you don’t become bored.
- You need friends even if you don’t like crowds. Have a laptop handy to stay in touch with friends through email or regular calls.
The Interpersonal Style
Interpersonal Isabella values harmony in her world above all else. Isabella is consistent, reliable and practical. Friends call her predictable. Sometimes Interpersonal Isabella is so helpful and caring that people tend to rely on her, even to the point of taking her for granted or assuming that she wouldn’t mind if they call on her. During Isabella’s pregnancy, she needs to set the number one rule: Take care of herself first. Isabella tends to be non-assertive because she doesn’t like to rock the boat, and during pregnancy, she may find herself overly sensitive and shy. Interpersonal Isabella has to make a point to talk with her partner about her needs for appreciation and conversation as her body changes and hormones shift.
If you are like Interpersonal Isabella, your greatest challenges during pregnancy will be to get the help you deserve and to take quiet time for yourself. Otherwise, you could become overly sensitive and overcritical without meaning to be that way. Keep communication open with friends and family to talk through any issues that arise. Let nothing fester within you.
Preparing for Pregnancy and Birth
Because you strongly value harmony and stability, these special considerations should be included in your planning:
- Surround yourself with what is beautiful or familiar. This could be a vase of colorful flowers or a treasured stuffed animal from childhood that comforts you now.
- Structure and schedule stabilize you and provide feelings of safety. You can ask now for a housekeeper or help with business assignments or any other tasks. If finances are tight, look for creative ways to get help. It’s important!
- Feeling connected and supported by your partner is the best support you can have. Make a weekly date night and stick to it.
- Find another person or two who you want to stay close to during your pregnancy and talk with them about how to make that happen.
- Make a definite plan for positive thinking and cultivating optimistic and grateful attitudes. Otherwise you could worry! Try: Movies that touch your heart, pregnancy diary or inspirational reading.
- Make a plan of action now for those overly-sensitive days when you want to roar at the world. Make a pact with yourself now to take that hot bath, join a friend for lunch or savor the touch of a facial.
- When you do feel over-sensitive, stay away from the stimulants like teas, coffees or soft drinks.
The Behavioral Style
Behavioral Barb loves the popular phrase “just do it.” She made it her motto because she likes to achieve. Barb does not consider herself successful until a project is finished, no matter how long it takes. Behavioral Barb is a doer who can put a plan together easily, set goals, make a quick decision and run a household or an organization with strong leadership. Barb is rational, not impulsive as Interpersonal Isabella. Barb is not a risk taker. She’ll enjoy the challenge of pregnancy, and not likely to let it hold her back from the tasks she wants to accomplish. Behavioral Barb tends to be a loner and likes to be independent in order to control and keep order in her world.
If you are a Behavioral Barb, your greatest challenge will be not to treat your pregnancy like another task on your busy schedule, and not to expect your child to fit into your business. You would be a perfect work-at-home mom because of your focus and your discipline. Another challenge will be to accept that you cannot control your pregnancy, and when a situation like not being able to put on your shoes calls for surrendering gracefully, then be able to do so.
To Prepare for Pregnancy and Birth
You respect activity and competence and value autonomy. You’ll find the joy of pregnancy in planning, creating spaces, bonding with your baby and finding competent help.
- Make goals and set timelines for what you would like to accomplish before your baby comes home. How will you accomplish your goals with ease?
- What do you need help with and which people will you trust to assist you?
- What exercise will keep you in shape during your pregnancy?
- What stimulation such as music, reading, or journaling will keep your interest? Would you like to study during this time?
- Build in rewards so you feel satisfied with all you are doing.
- Since you are not a risk taker, have a contingency plan for what might go wrong or frighten you about the pregnancy and birth process.
- Train yourself to relax and enjoy your body through dancing, breathing or movement such as yoga or Tai Chi. Choose any gentle way to let go of controlling the experience.
- Pay special attention to and find time for involving your partner in your activities, feelings and desires for a healthy, optimal pregnancy.
The Affective Style
Affective Alicia is a creative and artistic individual who’ll approach pregnancy sensually. Alicia deeply feels the changes in her body and celebrates them with her partner or other women. Alicia surrounds herself with happy and positive people during this time as it means a lot to her. In fact, she draws energy and strength from others, and can get bored if she’s not the center of attention or angry if others disagree with her. Of all the styles, Affective Alicia finds it easiest to stay positive and tends to move away from people who disagree or who don’t stay as upbeat as her. She is a dreamer who is bored to tears with routine and habit, as she loves entertainment and recreation.
If you are an Affective Alicia, your greatest challenge during pregnancy is self-discipline and routine for your care and that of your child. As people and activity around you easily influence you, don’t lose yourself. Pregnancy is a maturing time in a woman’s life. You have the opportunity to discover your strength of character. You’ll savor the richness of feelings and sensuality.
To Prepare for Pregnancy and Birth
You value your freedom to dream and create, and may find pleasure in not holding a 9 to 5 job during pregnancy. Keep these needs in mind when planning.
- You thrive on positive people and pregnancy is the time to create a support team.
- Have the courage to tell the worriers and advice-givers among friends and family to keep their distance or change their conversations.
- Work with your partner to create your safety parameters around conversation, money, recreation and pleasure because these feed your soul.
- Plan your exercise, focus and work in well-spaced intervals, as you’ll resist when you schedule yourself too tightly.
- You’ll need touch and reassurance. How can you meet these needs?
- Is there an artistic expression in which you find joy currently? Consider including it in your self-nurturing rituals.
- As much as you enjoy a stimulating conversation, also find time for quiet and calm.
- You may think you don’t need routine, but your body and your baby do.
- If it’s easiest for you to schedule your routine around your partner or other’s needs, then do so.
- Contain self-judgement and criticism of others; it produces stress in your emotions and body.
©2009 by Dr. Caron Goode. Goode is gifted with compassion in assisting others to effect lasting transformation through spiritual coaching, books, classes and seminars. Caron’s continuous education, experience in psychology and professional writing makes her a great resource for parents wishing to create and maintain a nurturing relationship their children. She has positioned the Academy for Coaching Parents International (www.acpi.biz ) at the forefront of the parent coaching movement to disseminate the coaching model of empowerment for parents. Newest book – Raising Intuitive Children at www.raisingintuitivechildren.com
If you found the above column useful, feel free to share it with
friends. To subscribe yourself to Caron’s Coaching Corner, send an email to caron30@gmail.com .Upon subscribing, you will receive the Coaching Corner once a month.
more:
- First Trimester
- Second Trimester
- Third Trimester
- Pregnancy Care Options
Personal Style in Pregnancy Articles By Dr. Caron Goode:
- Part 1- Mindfulness During Pregnancy
- Part 2- You Deserve to Feel Great
- Part 4- Mental Fitness for the Whole Women